23 reasons why massage is better than sex

  1. Massage can be done even when your head hurts, it will only make it easier for her.
  2. During the massage, you can sleep, which is categorically not welcome in sex.
  3. A masseur will never tell you that you are lying like a log…
  4. It is impossible to get pregnant from a massage.
  5. Nobody will blame you, either at home or at work, if your massage therapist is a girl.
  6. Unlike sex, massage will give you strength, and will not leave you exhausted on a crumpled bed.
  7. If you have an erogenous zone of your hands, then they will be ironed according to your desire at least all the time, without encroaching on anything else.
  8. During the massage, you don’t need to pretend to be a schoolboy, a bunny or a slave if you yourself do not want to.
  9. A massage session “on the side” will not cause a divorce. Neither with a masseur, nor with her husband.
  10. The masseur will not tell you – and now you are on top!
  11. A masseur will never tell you after the massage – “If you are already everything, then bring me a couple of sandwiches, a mineral water and cigarettes.”
  12. There is absolutely no need to worry that the massage will end in a couple of minutes. The massage will be guaranteed to last 45 minutes or even an hour, and so you can relax and enjoy.
  13. It’s enough to find a good Masseur once and for a lifetime, and partners for sex and husbands usually change.
  14. Massage is much more hygienic.
  15. It’s better to lie relaxed on a bed than to frantically jump on it.
  16. Massage can be ordered even at home, not embarrassed by the presence of children and husband.
  17. If you are a virgin, then massage classes will not violate your innocence.
  18. You and your friends may have the same master, and this will not be the reason to quarrel with them for life.
  19. A masseur will not be offended if during a massage session, your mother calls you and you will discuss shopping trips for minutes.
  20. The masseur can be told that you have a date today, and that you are going to make it up on it (on a date, of course).
  21. It does not matter for the masseur whether all the hairs have been plucked in your priest or elsewhere.
  22. Parents will react quite calmly to massage, where the masseur is a man much younger or vice versa older, and will not read you morality.
  23. The masseur does not fall asleep turning to the wall, after he gives you a massage, on the contrary, he will ask you when you will come again. 😘

Of course, massage has not only advantages. The disadvantages include the following:

  1. You can’t tell the massage therapist that as a decent person, after that, he simply has to marry you immediately.
  2. You may be paid for sex, but you always pay for massage.
  3. There is no massage on the phone, as well as on the Internet.

Otherwise, as you have already seen and felt, massage is certainly better than sex!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *